Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
