I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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