The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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