I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
