Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
