Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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