Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize