he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
