As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
