kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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