there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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