dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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