I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
