I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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