i already hear my dad disowning me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
