all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
