dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
