I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Vodka?
Forever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize