Do you still have your period?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
