No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
