Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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