So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
