Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
