feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
40s are totally the cure
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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