i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
