I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
