Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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