So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
