I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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