The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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