I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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