watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
