"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My bed smells like the plague
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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