If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
