her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
