I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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