your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
