You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
