nut hugger
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
