so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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