I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
