how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
