My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
