Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
