What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
