Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
