I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
