There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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