I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
