Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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