The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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