My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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