You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
