I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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