So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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