my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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