I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize