I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
