throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize