all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
