everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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